Self-introduction
Dear Professor Brad,
Being the youngest in the
family, I have always looked up to my older siblings as my role models. My
siblings are carefree, outgoing and cheerful, therefore they are very easy to talk to and many would love spending time with them. Having lived under the same roof, it was inevitable that I have been influenced by them.
With the traits gotten from my siblings, I have sharpened my communication and networking skills. It has enabled me to easily engage in conversations with people from different walks of life and hence, many friendships were forged. Being sociable and outgoing are strengths that I have nurtured and it has enabled me to step out of my comfort zone and realize the importance of communication.
One flaw that I am trying to change is being too nice thus being
taken advantage of. There are times where I could not bring myself to reject
another person’s request even though it puts me at a disadvantage. As such, I do
find myself lacking in terms of communication as I could not reject a person’s
request without feeling guilty.
Through this course, my goal is to nurture effective communication
and writing skills. I hope by the end of this course, I am able to effectively
reject a request without feeling guilt-ridden, gain more confidence in
presenting my ideas and acquire better writing skills. With that, I hope to achieve the goals stated and have an enjoyable time learning in your class.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Regards,
Cheron Poh
SIE2016-Group 5
Fellow group members are: Jerome Teng, Jie Ming, Jun Peng and Xue Le
Edited: 18 September 2017
Edited: 19 September 2017
Edited: 21 September 2017
Blogs commented:
Xue Le, Jerome Teng and Yong Quan.
Edited: 18 September 2017
Edited: 19 September 2017
Edited: 21 September 2017
Blogs commented:
Xue Le, Jerome Teng and Yong Quan.
Dear Cheron,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this introduction. In general terms I find it interesting and quite original. The way you open with a focus on your siblings as models for you in your social skills is a good hook for the reader. My only concern is that, since this is a 'formal letter,' the idea that it is simply alcohol that fuels this social development might be pushing you into more of an informal frame. Let me suggest that you downplay the alcohol part and emphasize the fact that you modeled your social behavior on your siblings'. I think you can do that and retain the integrity of what you want to convey.
In terms of skills weaknesses and strengths, this is a clear and concise description. I look forward to helping you address your goals in the course.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Brad,
DeleteThank you for reading my blog and providing the necessary changes required. I have edited it accordingly and hopefully it is more formal as compared to before.
So sorry for the late reply.
Cheers,
Cheron
Hey Cheron,
ReplyDeleteNice blog you have ! I found it interesting and insightful. I like how you have taken a different perspective for your introduction, whereas most of us have focused our introduction around our career goals and past academic experiences.
I found your overall language and grammar to be great! Just one point that I would like to highlight.
1. Paragraph 1 line 4, "Having to live under the same roof, it is inevitable that I am influenced by them. " May I suggest editing it to, "Having lived under the same roof, it was inevitable that I have been influenced by them." In my humble opinion, the edit makes it easier to read.
I hope that you will learn to be "thick-skinned" (haha) and reject a request without feeling (too much) guilt! If you think that my corrections are unnecessary or wrong, please forgive me!
Best regards,
Jerome Teng
20/09/17
Hey there Jerome,
DeleteThank you for taking time out to read my blog. I've made the changes as pointed out by you as it does improves the readability of the sentence and no hard feelings, so no worries!
So sorry for the late reply, it totally slipped my mind. Haha!
Cheers,
Cheron Poh
Hello Cheron!
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely something different from the rest of the blogs i've read. Very interesting and it really drew my attention to it. You focused more on how your family has actually influence you and made you into who you are today. I thought this was actually a very good way in introducing yourself.
Im not sure how Brad is going to help you effectively reject a request without any guilt because I experience how you feel too, but lets trust him!
Cheers!
Hello Nee Kong!
DeleteThank you for taking time out to read my blog and leaving such positive comments too! Yup, let's conquer this rejection horror together! Haha!
So sorry for the late reply though, it totally slipped my mind.
Cheers,
Cheron Poh